Love is…

June has really been a month of ups and downs, but it’s ended on a high and I’m primed for July 🙂

The Royal Barge.

The first weekend in June (moon 3/4 waxing) was a long weekend, due to the Jubilee Celebrations. My love and I spent a very wet Sunday in London watching the Thames pagent, then on Monday, which turned out to be gloriously sunny, we went to to Glastonbury – Hippie Central! I enjoyed browsing lots of pagan/new age shops and bought a couple of bits and pieces. Can’t believe I felt comfortable in a new age shop, very weird for me as a Christian. Guess I’m not Christian anymore. Maybe I’m more than that. I don’t know

Anyway.

Glastonbury High Street

On the second weekend (moon 3/4 waning) I did the reiki level 1 course. It made me realise quite a lot of things, not least of which was that I’ve been seeing auras for the last 20 years or so and didn’t even realise that’s what I was seeing! I just assumed everyone could see what I could see. It didn’t occur to me that it was the very thing I first dismissed with derision then later, still dismissed but with a bit more consideration for the other point of view. Finally, the tingling sensation I’ve experienced in my hands for roughly the same period of time has been explained, if not totally then at least to my satisfaction. On a deeper level, the Master talked about a different way of experiencing the universe that has gradually resonated more and more with me as I think about it. Trying to explain it, I sound like I’ve completely lost what little of my rational mind was left, but I don’t mind. Later I will reclaim my rationality, but I will do so by balancing it with my intuitive self.

The Saturday of the third weekend in June (moon 1/4 waning) was spent at District Training. I am privileged to be Area Governor for the year 2012/13, looking after four wonderful, vibrant clubs in Woking, Camberley, Guildford and Farnham. There is the possibility of two clubs chartering during the course of the year, so it’s an exciting time. I’m looking forward to embracing my true self and not holding back anything any more. No more negative self-talk!

Sunday was spent conked out.

Dawn on the Summer Solstice. You’ll have to take my word for it.

On the 20th (New Moon) my love and I went to Butser to watch the dawn on the solstice. It was grey and pouring rain and I was so upset and disappointed, which led to arguments when my love tried to explain that I create the weather. Well, not exactly, but how I respond creates my experience. This is a recurring argument we have and I frequently want to slap him but that’s by the by…

Keiran very excited and happy to be on the Australian team!

Butser Ancient Farm, when it’s sunny!

The fourth weekend (moon 1/4 waxing) was fabulous. We went to the Horsell Schools Fair on Saturday morning, then my friend Cly’s annual Spring party in the afternoon, where we shared good food, interesting conversations and a smattering of barbershop. We even saw a Spitfire! On Sunday I was so excited that the day forecast for 100% chance of rain dawned sunny and hot, so we took the kids to Butser Ancient Farm for a Fairy Festival.

The weekend of the 30th (moon 3/4 waxing) was a little strife-filled. The man really pissed me off and I found myself doing typically annoying female responses to his mind-blowing insensitivity (I exaggerate for effect… a little). He wanted to watch sport and I became unreasonably annoyed. Can’t believe I said “FINE!”and “WHAT?!” before giving him the silent treatment he didn’t realise he was getting. In reality, it was a bit more than just the sport that upset me, we basically had the kind of conversation that ended in me saying “I don’t know why I’m with you” and storming off while he went back to watching tennis. I can’t remember the details, but he thinks so differently from me that sometimes it’s hard to comprehend where he’s coming from. I felt so angry and frustrated, there’s so much going on in me it’s hard to understand and sometimes it comes out in a fury. I’m fearful, but glad to be going through the process. How’s that for paradoxical?! I carry a deep pain, so deep I can’t put it into words. My Band-Aid solution has been to ignore my intution, my inner wisdom and to deny my inner self. Now I’m embracing that part of me of course the pain is coming out.

An audience with Orla the Queen of the Fairies.

So, where am I now after that part of my journey? I appreciate my love more than ever. Yes, he pisses me off sometimes, but he loves me in a way that is rock-solid. He has been so supportive of me and more than anything else that is going on in my life, that support makes this journey possible. I know that whatever happens, the love from my Love is eternal, regardless of outward appearances. My sense of Spirit is being revived and my heart will mend.

(PS I noted the phases of the moon because I want to see whether there’s any relationship between my feelings/what’s happening in my life and the moon. Science says don’t be daft, but intution rules. I don’t pretend to understand, I’m just doing what feels right. Don’t ask me to rationalise…)

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