Another thoughtful post from the Leadership Freak. I don’t think I’d be where I am now without the self-analysis this blog often puts me through. This particular post strikes a chord with me at the moment because recently I heard a friend was concerned for me because she thought I was doing too much. She felt I needed to focus more. At first I was really a bit annoyed about that. I wondered why doing lots of things meant that I wasn’t focussed. I bristled at the idea that I wasn’t doing anything well.
I think now that my reaction was really my own lack of self-confidence coming through. We all want to be more than average at something, really exceptional at something. I’m still not sure what that one thing is. I confess that I love it when people tell me how amazing they think I am for doing all the things I do. Maybe that’s where my buzz comes from at the moment.
I think about how much my life has changed in the last two years. I was married to a lovely man, great house, great kids, but my life was all about the man, the house, the kids and I wanted more. Now I have a different man (although my ex is still a big part of my life), a waaaay smaller house (which gets me down sometimes, I must admit), brilliant children, two clubs, two part-time jobs (actually, very part time since neither pay enough to live on) and one business in the making.
I don’t know whether I do any of it exceptionally well at the moment, but I do know I do my best for all of it. Knowing that average is actually okay means I can relax sometimes when I feel like things could be better. I can always do things better, but giving myself permission to be just okay gives me more energy to be exceptional.