Driving home from chorus tonight I could feel the darkness welling up inside me. I had sung well at the start of the evening but when it came time to record I just made so many mistakes I didn’t get through either of the songs and get a full recording. The harder I tried teh more mistakes I made. It was particularly frustrating because I knew the reason for the mistakes was just tiredness and lack of confidence, but every time I made a mistake the confidence evaporated further.
Then the restful red chip shop sign shimmered into view as I drove. Part of my brain knew the only reason I was hungry was because I was feeling badly about what happened tonight. For the first time, I was aware that I’ve been comfort eating. Awareness had no influence, sadly and I bought my favourite (small) serve of mayonnaise and chips.
I’m not happy about the weight I’m stacking on, until tonight I have been telling myself I don’t care about it, I know how to get it off, there’s been so much stress in my life it’s crazy for me to find one more thing to beat myself up about.
Excuses really. I know I’ll feel better about myself when I lose the weight so I’d better get onto it.
I splurged and bought some hair colour today, inspired by Miss 13. I feel much better now the greys are gone and the rubbish colour at the ends is no more. Now I’m just waiting for someone to notice *lol*