Lessons From an Arguement Part 1

I had a big disagreement with a work colleague today. I was shocked that she had the attitude that some kids are not capable of reaching a certain target. She thought I was naive for thinking the opposite. We (or at least I) agreed to disagree, but the whole conversation got me thinking about a great many things – negative thinking, public speaking and what I’m passionate about.

Negative thinking…

If I was going to change one thing about myself it would be my persistence in running myself down. As much of a contradiction as it sounds, I’m really good at it. Today, for example, my partner told me about a conversation he’d had with his mate about me. His mate had said I was good looking, intelligent, a ‘good catch,’ and my first thoughts about that were ‘wow, I must be getting good at pretending.’ I missed a few days’ posts this week, it’s been a tiring week and I’ve found it hard to focus, and I feel guilty about it.

I read somewhere that if you do something for 30 days it becomes a habit. I wonder, if you do something for a lifetime is that a personality trait? I think being hard on myself is more than a habit and it’s going to take a lot longer than 30 days of thinking four positive thoughts for every negative one. Thinking negatively is so much part of me it comes before I think about it (if that makes any sense). I suppose the upside to this is that I can think positively about the situation afterwards. It’s okay I didn’t post for a couple of days. I didn’t cause any pain, nobody died because I didn’t post. If other men think I’m a good catch, then maybe I am.

Maybe my next 30-day challenge should be to get out of the negative self-talk habit. That means 30 days of replacing put-downs with push-ups. Well, at least it will be good for my upper body strength πŸ™‚

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5 Responses to Lessons From an Arguement Part 1

  1. I think the first thing that has to happen to stop the negative thinking is to accept the compliments without the trash talk in your head.

    You are beautiful, intelligent and you are indeed a “good catch”.
    Your response is supposed to be “Thank you.”

    Make that the first step. You have to say thank you and mean it.

    • Vanessa King says:

      A good lesson for everyone. I’ve read that if you refuse someone’s compliment out of perceived politeness, lack of self-belief, whatever, the message you’re actually sending is that you don’t value that person’s opinion. I’m still learning to say thank you with humility, the next step is saying it and meaning it.

  2. Hobbit says:

    I think if you don’t accept a compliment, it’s like someone wrapping up a gift for you, handing it over, and you just throw it away without even opening it. Took me a long time to master just saying “thank you” like Leanne says. I’m now very good at receiving compliments, so any time you fancy testing me out on some, just fire them over! πŸ˜‰

    • Vanessa King says:

      You’re the one who taught me about the importance of accepting a compliment. I haven’t forgotten the lesson, I just find it difficult to put into practice. Thanks for being in my life πŸ™‚

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