This weekend the kids are with their dad and I am really appreciating the silence. I find there is a balancing act with appreciation. Appreciate something just enough to enjoy the sense of satisfaction and fulfilment it brings, but don’t appreciate it too much because you might get more of it.
What do I mean by that?
Any mum will tell you it’s hard work. Miss 13 has been bribed by her dad (in the best possible way) to do household chores and she laughed at herself today when she found herself wondering aloud how the kitchen got so messy when she’d just cleaned it. She laughed because she realised she sounded just like me! Miss 3 is at the Queen stage. I want it all, I want it all, I want it all, and I want it NOW! Master 6 is happy with his PSP and food and occasionally he will look up long enough to tell me he loves me, when he’s not sulking because I’ve taken away his PSP and insisted he get into the car for school, I don’t care if you’ve not put your shoes on I’ve told you 5 times already!! And breathe…
I’ve discovered one of the perks to divorce is a whole 48 hours sans offspring and for at least some of that time I like to get rid of my man and revel in silence. I really love it. I let it rise up around my ears like bubbles in a bath, although of course it’s much quieter than bursting bath bubbles. I can read a book, have a coffee and sit in the sunshine (or listen to the rain, as appropriate) and I truly appreciate the time knowing the only interruptions are self-imposed ones.
However, enjoyment of these times comes only because I have the kids for the other 12 days in the fortnight. I love them every moment, certainly not always what they do but I love them. If I didn’t have them, those moments of silence would be dull, lifeless, monotonous. If silence was all I had, the appreciation for it would soon fade.
The good times in life are not good in isolation, they are good in context. Tough times make the good times better. Perhaps I’m learning to embrace the tough times and appreciate the good times. Shh, don’t tell my man 😉